Sport Jokes

What has four legs and no ears? Mike Tyson's dog.
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It's hard to exercise and type wtih swaety handss

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What does a zombie call Usain Bolt? Fast food.

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What do Englishmen do after they win the world cup? They turn off the PlayStation.

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I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and rugby, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.

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Stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won seven Tour De France on drugs! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bike.

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One day at the airport: "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 has changed the boarding gate to Gate 42." Ten minutes later: "We apologize, but it's Gate 3." Ten minutes later: "It's Gate 49." As the passengers are sitting down the voice announces: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."

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I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean.. you've got a gun, haven't you?

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What is an insect's favorite sport? Cricket.

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How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to the fans.

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How is a baseball team similar to a pancake? They both need a good batter.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? He wanted his quarter back.

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What do you call a pig who plays basketball? A ball hog.

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What is the hardest part about skydiving? The ground.

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What's the difference between Cinderella and the England soccer team? Cinderella wanted to get to the ball.

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What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup Finals? Referee.

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What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

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How do you say Floyd Mayweather in Chinese? Ka Ching.

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The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.

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All pro athletes are bilingual. They speak English and profanity.

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How do you make a fruit punch? Give it boxing lessons.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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What has four legs and no ears? Mike Tyson's dog.

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