| Murphy's Laws for the Military, Snafu slogans for troopsNever forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidderIf you find yourself in front of your comrades, they know something you don't
---------------- The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away for repair
----------------- If you have a personality conflict with your superior, he has the personality, you have the conflict
--------- Smart bombs have bad days too
---------- The seriousness of a wound is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover
--------------- Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you
--------- The quartermaster has only three sizes: Too large, Too small, On order
------------ The weight of your equipment is proportional to the time you have been carrying it
-------------- There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work
---------- The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he's ordered to carry out
---------------- Odd objects attract fire. You are odd.
-------------- If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him
---------------- If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it
----------------- Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything
---------- There is no such place as a convenient foxhole
--------------- The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance
------------ When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible
----------------- Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short
--------- The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator
--------------- The worse the weather, the more you're required to be out in it
-------------- If your positions are firmly set and you're prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
------------ The crucial round is a dud
------------ The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
---------- When you have sufficient supplies and ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you're low on supplies and ammo, the enemy decides to attack that night.
------------- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism (in boot camp)
---------- No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
---------- Everything works in your HQ, everything fails in the Colonel's HQ
--------------- The one item you need is always in short supply
--------- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself
----------- If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything
---------------- No matter which way you have to march, it's always uphill
--------------- Field experience is something you don't get until after you need it
-------------- The enemy never watches until you make a mistake
------------- You're a magnet for mud and rain
--------------- Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you're low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn
----------- Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps
----------- Exceptions prove the rule and destroy the battle plan
--------- Success occurs when nobody is looking, failure occurs when the Admiral is watching
-------------- Success occurs when nobody is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching
--------- Uncrating and assembly instructions are always inside the crate
--------- All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather
----------------- Mudproof parts, aren't
---------------- Interchangeable parts, aren't
--------- Weather ain't neutral
-------------- Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing
------------ Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support
---------- Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way
---------- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire
----------- The easy way is always mined
--------------- Five second fuses only last three seconds
--------- No Operation Plan ever survives initial contact
----------------- The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a) When they're ready. b) When you're not.
----------- The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack
------------- If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush
------------ If the enemy is within range, so are you
----------- Every command that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood
---------- Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder
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