| Murphy's Laws for the Military, Snafu slogans for troopsNever forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidderIf your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it
----------------- If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him
---------------- There is no such place as a convenient foxhole
--------------- Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything
---------- The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance
------------ Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short
--------- When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible
----------------- The worse the weather, the more you're required to be out in it
-------------- The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator
--------------- The crucial round is a dud
------------ If your positions are firmly set and you're prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
------------ When you have sufficient supplies and ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you're low on supplies and ammo, the enemy decides to attack that night.
------------- The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
---------- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism (in boot camp)
---------- Everything works in your HQ, everything fails in the Colonel's HQ
--------------- No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
---------- The one item you need is always in short supply
--------- The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away for repair
----------------- If you find yourself in front of your comrades, they know something you don't
---------------- Smart bombs have bad days too
---------- If you have a personality conflict with your superior, he has the personality, you have the conflict
--------- Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you
--------- The seriousness of a wound is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover
--------------- The weight of your equipment is proportional to the time you have been carrying it
-------------- The quartermaster has only three sizes: Too large, Too small, On order
------------ There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work
---------- Odd objects attract fire. You are odd.
-------------- The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he's ordered to carry out
---------------- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself
----------- No matter which way you have to march, it's always uphill
--------------- If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything
---------------- Field experience is something you don't get until after you need it
-------------- You're a magnet for mud and rain
--------------- The enemy never watches until you make a mistake
------------- Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps
----------- Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you're low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn
----------- Success occurs when nobody is looking, failure occurs when the Admiral is watching
-------------- Exceptions prove the rule and destroy the battle plan
--------- Uncrating and assembly instructions are always inside the crate
--------- Success occurs when nobody is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching
--------- All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather
----------------- Interchangeable parts, aren't
--------- Mudproof parts, aren't
---------------- Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing
------------ Weather ain't neutral
-------------- Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way
---------- Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support
---------- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire
----------- Five second fuses only last three seconds
--------- The easy way is always mined
--------------- The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a) When they're ready. b) When you're not.
----------- No Operation Plan ever survives initial contact
----------------- If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush
------------ The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack
------------- Every command that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood
---------- If the enemy is within range, so are you
----------- Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder
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