| Funny oneliners for programmers, admins and computer nerdsRoses are red, violets are blue unexpected End Of File on line 32Q: Is it true that 0 equals TRUE and 1 equals FALSE or is it vice versa?
A: 1
--------------- Three SQL queries walk into a NoSQL bar but cannot find a table.
----------------- 100 bugs minus 1 fixed bug equals 101 bugs
---------------- If you put a million monkey on a million computers for a million years, one of them will write computer code, the rest will write Perl.
------------ A foo walks into a bar and says "Hello World!"
---------------- Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself
------------ Q: Does that mean that 1 is TRUE and 0 is FALSE?
A: 1
-------------- My favorite hangout place? Foo Bar.
--------------- "I don't understand your code. Would you mind to add comments?" — "I don't understand it either. It was a lot of trial and error."
--------------- Unix is user friendly. It's just very particular who its friends are.
----------- A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and say "Can I join you?"
------------- Just close the console window and the error is gone
------------- Q: How do I learn coding in a single night?
A: Move to the north pole, where a night is six months
--------- I have relations with my database
-------------- Don't talk to me or my inherited members ever again
---------------- Hit any user to continue
--------- Shift the ctrl to us, and we will alt the world
------------ "Error: Problem found between keyboard and chair"
----------------- You're making progress if each mistake is a new one
----------------- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
---------- You had mail, but the super-user deleted it
--------- If at first you don't succeed... call it beta version
------------ There can never be a computer language in which you cannot write a bad program
------------- Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my harddisk?
----------------- Hi, my name is Any Key. Please don't hit me!
-------------- Computer Science: Solving today's problems tomorrow
----------- My software never has bugs. Just random features.
-------------- Shutting down all servers reguarly during worktime prevents RSI and develops social contacts at work
--------------- If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
------------- Three programmers walk into a bar. One of them holds up two fingers and says "Three beers".
----------- Be aware of programmers who carry screwdrivers
--------- Beta is Latin for "Still doesn't work"
---------- Every bug you find is the last one
---------- Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
------------- Research has shown that users will find any interface design intuitive when given enough practice
------------ One person's error is another person's data
----------------- "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error"
--------------- Roses are red,
violets are blue
unexpected End Of File
on line 32
---------- ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
---------------- A program is never finished until the programmer dies
--------- walks UDP package into bar A.
----------- Why don't puns work in octal? Because 7 10 11.
----------- Al Gore: "I invented the internet" — George W. Bush: "Oh yeah? Why is it WWW then?"
----------- Al Gore: "I invented the Al Gorithm"
------------ A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord
----------------- A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation
-------------- The fine CSS difference between .wife and #wife
---------------- A picture is worth 1024 words
----------- Keyboard : Instrument used to enter errors into computer.
-------------- Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
----------------- I � Unicode
--------------- Press CTRL‑ALT‑DEL to continue
--------------- All CPUs wait at the same speed
--------- The mark of the beast: rw‑rw‑rw‑
--------------- #bigbang::before { content: ""; }
---------------- #titanic { float:none; }
---------- Between <head></head> and <body></body> shouldn't there be a <neck></neck>?
-------------- Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
---------- Any joke can be a one-liner with enough semicolons.
-------------- #wife { right:100%; margin:0; }
----------- And God said:
Let there be sexy men.
So he made programmers.
----------- function isMyWifeRight($herStatement) {
return TRUE; // duh
}
---------------- // Life motto
if (lemons == TRUE)
makeLemonade();
---------------- There are only 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
--------------- What about
@^[^^](?=!?[3‑7+‑1.0%].\p{L}{2,3}{4,*,6})(?:\(?:\\\[[[‑\]]]+?..)|$@uU
don't you understand?
---------- |
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