Funny oneliners for programmers, admins and computer nerds

Roses are red,
violets are blue
unexpected End Of File
on line 32
  • New
  • Short
  • Abc
  • Unsorted
Q: Is it true that 0 equals TRUE and 1 equals FALSE or is it vice versa?

A: 1

---------------
Three SQL queries walk into a NoSQL bar but cannot find a table.

-----------------
100 bugs minus 1 fixed bug equals 101 bugs

----------------
If you put a million monkey on a million computers for a million years, one of them will write computer code, the rest will write Perl.

------------
A foo walks into a bar and says "Hello World!"

----------------
Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself

------------
Q: Does that mean that 1 is TRUE and 0 is FALSE?

A: 1

--------------
My favorite hangout place? Foo Bar.

---------------
"I don't understand your code. Would you mind to add comments?"  "I don't understand it either. It was a lot of trial and error."

---------------
Unix is user friendly. It's just very particular who its friends are.

-----------
A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and say "Can I join you?"

-------------
Just close the console window and the error is gone

-------------
Q: How do I learn coding in a single night?

A: Move to the north pole, where a night is six months

---------
I have relations with my database

--------------
Don't talk to me or my inherited members ever again

----------------
Hit any user to continue

---------
Shift the ctrl to us, and we will alt the world

------------
"Error: Problem found between keyboard and chair"

-----------------
You're making progress if each mistake is a new one

-----------------
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes

----------
You had mail, but the super-user deleted it

---------
If at first you don't succeed... call it beta version

------------
There can never be a computer language in which you cannot write a bad program

-------------
Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my harddisk?

-----------------
Hi, my name is Any Key. Please don't hit me!

--------------
Computer Science: Solving today's problems tomorrow

-----------
My software never has bugs. Just random features.

--------------
Shutting down all servers reguarly during worktime prevents RSI and develops social contacts at work

---------------
If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?

-------------
Three programmers walk into a bar. One of them holds up two fingers and says "Three beers".

-----------
Be aware of programmers who carry screwdrivers

---------
Beta is Latin for "Still doesn't work"

----------
Every bug you find is the last one

----------
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

-------------
Research has shown that users will find any interface design intuitive when given enough practice

------------
One person's error is another person's data

-----------------
"As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error"

---------------
Roses are red,
violets are blue
unexpected End Of File
on line 32

----------
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

----------------
A program is never finished until the programmer dies

---------
walks UDP package into bar A.

-----------
Why don't puns work in octal? Because 7 10 11.

-----------
Al Gore: "I invented the internet"  George W. Bush: "Oh yeah? Why is it WWW then?"

-----------
Al Gore: "I invented the Al Gorithm"

------------
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord

-----------------
A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation

--------------
The fine CSS difference between .wife and #wife

----------------
A picture is worth 1024 words

-----------
Keyboard : Instrument used to enter errors into computer.

--------------
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression

-----------------
I � Unicode

---------------
Press CTRL‑ALT‑DEL to continue

---------------
All CPUs wait at the same speed

---------
The mark of the beast: rw‑rw‑rw‑

---------------
#bigbang::before { content: ""; }

----------------
#titanic { float:none; }

----------
Between <head></head> and <body></body> shouldn't there be a <neck></neck>?

--------------
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

----------
Any joke can be a one-liner with enough semicolons.

--------------
#wife { right:100%; margin:0; }

-----------
And God said:
Let there be sexy men.
So he made programmers.

-----------
function isMyWifeRight($herStatement) {
return TRUE; // duh
}

----------------
// Life motto
if (lemons == TRUE)
makeLemonade();

----------------
There are only 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

---------------
What about
@^[^^](?=!?[3‑7+‑1.0%].\p{L}{2,3}{4,*,6})(?:\(?:\\\[[[‑\]]]+?..)|[email protected]
don't you understand?

----------






2184 jokes
[x]