| Funny occupation descriptionsAccountant: One who uses your books to figure his profitI'm a juror. I decide which side has the best lawyer.
------------ I'm a criminal. If things are going well, I mustn't tell anyone. If things aren't going well, everybody knows it.
--------- Diplomat: Someone who is paid to dine for his country
------------- He's an economist. He predicted 12 of the last 4 recessions.
-------------- Economist: Someone whose explanations always fit retrospectively
-------------- Economist: Someone who gets paid by how intelligent they sound
---------------- I'm a lawyer. I represent people who can pay my bills.
---------- Teacher: Someone who talks in our sleep
----------------- A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.
--------------- Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money
--------- Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion
--------------- Accountant: One who uses your books to figure his profit
------------ Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant
---------- Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand
--------- Plumber: A drain surgeon
----------------- Chef: A cook who swears in French
----------------- Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away
----------------- Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone
--------------- Cardiologist: Someone who studies playing cards
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