Sport Jokes

1. Does a match box? No, but a tin can.

2. How do you make a fruit punch? Give it boxing lessons.

3. All pro athletes are bilingual. They speak English and profanity.

4. The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.

5. How do you say Floyd Mayweather in Chinese? Ka Ching.

6. What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

7. What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup Finals? Referee.

8. What's the difference between Cinderella and the England soccer team? Cinderella wanted to get to the ball.

9. What is the hardest part about skydiving? The ground.

10. What do you call a pig who plays basketball? A ball hog.

11. Why did the football coach go to the bank? He wanted his quarter back.

12. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

13. How is a baseball team similar to a pancake? They both need a good batter.

14. How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to the fans.

15. What is an insect's favorite sport? Cricket.

16. I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean.. you've got a gun, haven't you?

17. One day at the airport: "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 has changed the boarding gate to Gate 42." Ten minutes later: "We apologize, but it's Gate 3." Ten minutes later: "It's Gate 49." As the passengers are sitting down the voice announces: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."

18. Stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won seven Tour De France on drugs! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bike.

19. I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and rugby, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.

20. What do Englishmen do after they win the world cup? They turn off the PlayStation.

21. What does a zombie call Usain Bolt? Fast food.

22. It's hard to exercise and type wtih swaety handss

23. What has four legs and no ears? Mike Tyson's dog.